Sunday Sabbath!

It's been great to spend the last few days here in Las Vegas with my Family. I know and understand just how important my Family is to me. I love my nephew and nieces, they are such joy and they are such SMART kids. I am SO grateful to be able to spend time with them as often as I have been able to even with them living out of state.

My heart breaks for both my Brother and Sister in Law, my brother just feels SO horrible, he has lost so much weight, I would give anything to have him feeling better, I guess I just don't understand all of this.. Tren't loss has been enough trial, I am trying to deal with my grieving process and it surely has not been the easiest way.

A few weeks ago I called on counseling assistance, wow! Um, with a $5,000 deductible, there is just no way- SO, I am on my own- nobody really knows how hard it is, it's not a typical grievance, I have lost pregnancies, a son at 24 weeks and 20 weeks, but were talking about someone who is like a part of me, I know it's hard to explain but when your whole life was loving and caring for a person and now not knowing now what to do with ourselves or each other it's hard. I have so much guilt as well, I just try to deal with each situation day by day- it's not easy.

I pray my brother will get answers on Wednesday, please pray for him and the medical staff that they may have guidance through this situation, pray for my sister in law, she needs strength to deal with it, she has some Family situations with her own brother and we pray for him and her family as well..

I just wanted to support my post tonight with the great love most all of us have,

F-A-M-I-L-Y

What a wonderful gift... No matter what we stick together..

I love mine and I am Thankful...

Here is to a good week.

Flashback Friday-

I cannot wait for the beautiful flowers, I cannot wait to do yard  work- there is such a sense of peace when I am out there looking, growing, watering the plants I LOVE SO much.. I hope Heaven is this beautiful...

This is personal!

Ok, this is personal.. But It's important to me..  I will start off with the day... I needed to get my oldest daughter (Bugs) i-pod from my parents for a trip we will be taking. We have been looking for a copy of  Hi-ya's dvd from his viewing/funeral.. So Bugs knew she left her i-pod from the last time she was with my parents in Vegas... Today, I walked into my parents home and my Dad gave me 3 dvd's, so we popped one in to see if it were of Hi-ya! Sure enough it was and the tears came down and the fog started up.. Wow, I just cannot cannot cannot believe that you are really gone. My baby brother whom I loved all of my life, whom I loved to dress up and pose and kiss and hug.. Where did the time go. So, the tears came down on both my dad and my face. After it was over my Dad said "let's go walk off our emotions", we did our 2 plus miles.. It was great to be with my Dad. It was GREAT to see Trent's pictures: Nobody will ever know how lucky we feel to have had him in our home and in our lives, WE WERE BLESSED.

So, the reason for the pictures of my 2 brother's Dustin and Trent are because My poor older brother is on a roller coaster ride, he has NOT been able to come off of it and the hills are high and very deep. I hope my Family does not mind me sharing and talking about this, but it has affected us all and in so many ways.. When Trent first passed away my older brother was really at peace, and felt that it was all ok and Trent was ok etc. I was really impressed because both my brother's had the opportunity to be the ONLY one's in the room with Trent when he passed away. Well come October if I am correct Dustin started in with major panic attacks and many many trips to the Emergency Room, I cannot even tell you the ordeal it has been and to live a state away and once again feel helpless is not fun, it is draining.. So, he had to stay in the hospital a few times some of it was up to a week... They did find a deviated septum and a bone spur in his nose, he had the surgery but the panic/anxiety attacks were so full of emotions... the medications did not always help, the hospital shame on them with one of there Dr/'s telling my sister in law and brother that it was all in his head and NOT to come back. I have choice words for them but will refrain.

So, this past week he went to the gastro Dr. He had 2 scopes done, the info coming back was that he has an infection on his esophagus with also some fungus, the Dr. rarerly if ever see's it.. he is on a 14 day antibiotic. Also, his stomach has some swelling, he has a hietal hernia but they are ruling it out as the culprit.. So, biopsies have been done and results will not be back until next week, he has finally decided he does have the depression (like the rest of us and probably the rest of the world). Now for treatment.. 

Trent, give us some insight!

Please pray for him, pray for us, this has been draining and tiring all at once, I am done- I really cannot take anymore.

In some scriptures I have found this is what it says:

"Jesus Wept"

John 11:35

Christ wept even though he knew that his friend was with God and even though Christ had the power (and was about to use the power) to raise him from the dead. Even absolute knowledge and power do not prevent us from suffering or from being moved to weep.

If Christ wept and felt grief, all the more we will weep and feel grief. 

To weep for those whom we love are dead is a Christlike thing to do. We are blessed if we mourn properly. Note Luke 6:21

"Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted."

Mathew 5:4 see also Psalms 37:11 and John 14:18

Christ came to comfort those who mourn, not to avoid all sorrow.

Christ and the prophets came to comfort those who mourn.

"The spirit of the Lord God is upon me:...he hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted...To proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord... to comfort all that mourns."

Isaiah 61:1,2 see also 2 Corinthians 1:3-6 and Romans 12:15

And God knows that to wait for his comfort tries us and strains our patience. It is not easy and God knows how hard it is for us.

"Knowing this, that the trying of our Faith worketh patience"

Happy Birthday Grandma Stevens....

Sunday Sabbath

I am trying to keep up on my posts and since I have already started my Sunday Sabbath posts I need to continue to do them, even if I don't feel like it :)

So, Shawn and I take turns in our class teaching the lesson, last week was his lesson this week it was mine: The lesson this week was on:
"I can make right choices", We have the biggest class in Junior Primary.. Today we had 9 kids... WOW!! Yep, 9 kids- it's a lot but I LOVE seeing there cute faces each week and when one of them is gone or leaves early I feel sad because each of them bring such a unique smile and personality to the class. This past weekend I spent some time cutting out and gluing and making a flannel/felt board, I decided the kids need visual aides: I think I like them as well:)
Our class is So cute, I love how great they are to listening.. I love the most when they walk out of class and can tell there parents what it is they learned and what was talked about: I am Thankful for my calling, I miss the sweet ladies in Relief Society but it sure has been fun to serve in this calling with my husband and of course having our little Buzy in the class with us.